Nik Setiadarma

crumbles of time

Blog

  • Rhythm Out of Death

    Rhythm Out of Death

    Kim Hye Soon’s Autobiography of Death, translated by Don Mee Choi, is an act of commuting to-and-fro two worlds beyond their own border: lifedeath without space, nor virgule and slash. “Death is something that storms in from of the outside. The universe inside is bigger. It’s deep. Soon you float up inside it,” says the… Read more

  • Genggam Palu Kecil Itu

    Genggam Palu Kecil Itu

    Entah sudah berapa lama kepala saya selalu berkutat dengan teknik dan cara menulis esai/ulasan/kritik, atau apapun itu yang dapat dikategorikan dalam payung perbacotan non-fiksi. Mungkin karena saya tidak bisa menulis fiksi, akhirnya saya mencoba untuk membicarakan fiksi sedikit lebih serius a.k.a. mencari cara bagaimana mencampur aduk selera pribadi, penilaian artistik, dan pengamatan konteks, lalu menuliskannya.… Read more

  • phase two; ready

    phase two; ready

    I went to the Netherlands with a broken heart. Anxiety of traveling. The unfinished grief from visa shenanigans. Long distance relationships with my loved ones. My best friend K in Amsterdam gave me a room to weep and a corner in the kitchen to watch her baby child and occasionally zone out. At night, I… Read more

  • until now, tenderness

    until now, tenderness

    for my persons who make and read poems Once upon an evening, I felt brave. It was two days before the day of celebrating romance in February. I opened the door of my small rented place in Kalibata, welcoming two girls I really like and adore so much, D and B. I’ve befriended D since… Read more

  • not for you unless you can’t help it

    not for you unless you can’t help it

    TW: mentions of rape and suicide don’t be a stranger, dear princess. you know you’re pretty. i see your confidence. and you like all the attention you have. you’re a writer, a thinker, a woman artist, an intellectual daughter, an endearing sister, a caring mother, a perfect scholar, a special one. you can do it… Read more

  • hold and held

    hold and held

    A friend teased my responses from Gencontrolz roundtable on reproduction and care labor. “I want to say ‘no’ to all your questions.” I giggled. He knows my impulse really well; how my response to Fai’s, Michelle’s, and Phuong Anh’s prompts is not really an explanation, nor an answer. It’s questions. More and more questions. As… Read more