Nik Setiadarma

crumbles of time

Blog

  • not for you unless you can’t help it

    not for you unless you can’t help it

    TW: mentions of rape and suicide don’t be a stranger, dear princess. you know you’re pretty. i see your confidence. and you like all the attention you have. you’re a writer, a thinker, a woman artist, an intellectual daughter, an endearing sister, a caring mother, a perfect scholar, a special one. you can do it Read more

  • hold and held

    hold and held

    A friend teased my responses from Gencontrolz roundtable on reproduction and care labor. “I want to say ‘no’ to all your questions.” I giggled. He knows my impulse really well; how my response to Fai’s, Michelle’s, and Phuong Anh’s prompts is not really an explanation, nor an answer. It’s questions. More and more questions. As Read more

  • phase one; not yet

    phase one; not yet

    The tip of my fingers smells funny. The old papers give marks. The past sticks on the surface of my skin. Someone I never know had touched those pages, binding them, carrying them, until they arrived in the hands of librarians and stayed on the shelves for decades. They put stamp, catalog number, enforcing the Read more

  • Burn It

    Burn It

    Talking about fandom and idol culture can be awkward. Mainstream media either will praise or curse, or call it with anything: a distraction, the spiralling down of parasocial interaction, blablabla. So many things happening within the culture that even when someone look it from inside, they cannot entirely comprehend. But a humane story is not Read more

  • Brawling

    Brawling

    It’s a room full of silence and repressed scream. Lee Soho’s poetry collection, Catcalling, translated dazzingly by So J. Lee pulls me to that room. The book starts with Kyungjin’s room and an origin of sisterhood: “I was born but somehow you were born too. From one to two. We crumple ourselves into the cramped Read more

  • Diri Yang Terbuka

    Diri Yang Terbuka

    Kecermatan seorang jurnalis tidak cukup untuk melahirkan kumpulan esai tentang seni dan sastra yang tepat dan berkarisma. Sensibilitas yang terolah, ketajaman menilai, dan keberjarakan. Janet Malcolm memiliki semua itu. Dan ia menghasilkan sekumpulan esai yang merenggut ulang kepercayaan saya soal apa itu tulisan non-fiksi yang cemerlang. Forty-One False Starts adalah kumpulan esai Malcolm yang mengambil Read more