My family rarely plans for Lunar New Year. It’s not part of our household tradition, from which I often say to friends that we’re more Christian than Chinese even when one of my core memories is about fifth-grade peers at school bringing red envelopes (one of them said she got almost one million rupiah from… Read more

for the ones who are ready for holding me and my space The kitchen sink leaked without breaking. It was the pipe: condensed, hardened oil and fat. Per landlord’s request, two building maintenance workers knocked on the door and started cleaning. Necessary noise, very much needed labor. I sat on the working desk, trying not… Read more

notes on heavy raining days “I am a love theorist” is what Lauren Berlant wrote in mid-2012 on Supervalent Thought after the title “The Book of Love is Long and Boring, No One Can Lift the Damn Thing …” Their philosophical I moves through their own feelings of dissociating from all their loves—sometimes. They wrote:… Read more

Dusting the weather; I checked my back, and my damn dear drenching sweating without pocari sweat. I swore to the sky that I wouldn’t write shit about coming back to Jakarta–oh lord here I am vomiting words. My grammar is rusty and my speech bubbles aren’t popping and yada yada yada, I always have reasons… Read more